“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Introduction Our habits shape us more than anything else, which is why we should make sure our habits are holy. By this I mean we should have regular practices and disciplines that express, develop, and reinforce our faith in God. One of the principle ways we can do that is to worship with other believers. In particular, it is important to worship with our family. The common pattern we see in Scripture is that fathers lead their families in worship. In the Old Testament we see father's serving as the priests in the home until the Levitical priests are established (Gen 4:3-4; 8:20; and Job 1:5) . After the Levites are established, we see the fathers representing their families by bringing the sacrifices to the tabernacle or temple and presenting themselves before the LORD with all the other men three times a year (Deut 16:16-17 and 1 Sam 1:3). In the New Testament, we read that fathers bear primary responsibility in bringing up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). The elders (leaders) in the church are supposed to be godly men who have a proven track record of spiritual leadership in their own homes because the church is to be understood as an extended household that is being led by fathers (1 Tim 3:1-7, 14-15). In short, God's design is that men are to be spiritual leaders, and this starts in the home.
For many men the call to be a spiritual leader is intimidating, and it is difficult to know where to start. So what are some practical ways that fathers can be spiritual leaders in the home? What follows are general suggestions for fathers to use when leading their families. 1) Be Humble "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6 If you feel unqualified to lead your family spiritually, let that lead you into prayer for God's help rather than to the nearest exit. The first step to leading your family in worship is to be a worshipper yourself! We need to be living a life of repentance from sin and trusting in Jesus Christ. We must submit ourselves to the Lord, confessing our specific sins and unique needs, and receive His instruction by faith. We need to be plugged into a local church that preaches the whole counsel of God. We can only spill what we are filled with, so we need to be filling ourselves with the Word of God. Going to the Lord and showing Him our "empty" cup to let Him fill it is the first step to being used to bless our families. In addition to a personal relationship with the Lord through His Word and prayer, it is necessary to have other men in your life who will encourage and help you seriously follow Jesus. These need to be trustworthy men with whom you can share your weaknesses. These need to be men who can identify where your life is not lining up with the Word of God and can offer correction you will receive. Look to older men who know the Scriptures and are willing to walk alongside you and share their wisdom. 2) Be Loving and Patient "And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”" -1 Peter 4:8 Family worship needs to be a time where a father's love for God and his family is on display. If a father loves the Lord and is listening to Jesus, then he will have something to share with his family. Kids can be wiggly, loud, and distracted (and distracting!), which makes it easy for fathers to get irritated. But it would a shame to let family worship become connected with dad's anger in the eyes of his children. Does there need to be correction? Yes! Does there need to be instruction? Yes! But these all can, and must, be done with gentleness and love. If God is love (and 1 John 4:8 says that He is), and if we as fathers want our children to know God, then our children need to see our love. The cumulative effect of these family worship times is where the pay-off will be, not in a single "home run" evening. Letting your kids see your love for the Lord and your love for them is more important than any particular point you might be trying to make, especially on a night where the kids' attention spans are especially short. 3) Keep It Simple "Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me." -Psalm 131:1 At the end of the day our job as fathers is to teach our kids that our God loved us so much that He sent His Son Jesus to free us from our sin so that we can be with Him. God saves us because He delights in us! In many respects, there is nothing complicated about the Christian life--it really boils down to saying "yes" to Jesus and "no" to sin--but that does not mean the Christian life is easy. Time in family devotions should be spent reading the Scriptures together and thinking through what it means for us to trust and obey the Lord in view of His grace. I use the same three questions when we read the Scriptures as a family: (1) What does this passage teach us about God? (2) What does this passage teach us about people? (3) How do we apply this passage to our own lives? My habit is to have the morning devotion be from one of the four Gospels, and the evening devotion comes from our read-through-the-Bible plan. I aim for 10-15 minutes for the opening prayer, Scripture reading, explanation/discussion, doxology (which we sing), and closing prayer. 4) Be Consistent "If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone who practices righteousness is born of Him." -1 John 2:29 There are many who have great ideas about what they could do, but those ideas never turn into reality. As far as the Bible is concerned, our practice, not our wishes, is what really matters to the Lord. Our daily habits reveal our priorities, and our priorities reveal our convictions. If worshiping the Lord is truly a conviction, it must be a priority, which means it will be a habit. If something matters enough to us, we schedule the time to do it. We do our family devotions in the morning and in the evening. Our morning devotion happens after our kids are all awake and dressed, and our evening devotion is at our dinner table once we are done eating. I chose these times because they are constants in our family, which makes consistency much easier. It would be good for you to choose times and places with your family that are easy to guard. And choosing where you will have the devotion might be as important as choosing the time because you want it to be as free of distractions as possible. 5) Make It Participatory "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." -James 1:22 Opening the table for your kids to ask questions is a great way to get them involved. That is why I use the same three questions every time--it helps my kids know what to expect, and they are used to listening to the Scripture reading with those questions in mind. I often start with an open ended question, asking if anything jumped at them as interesting or confusing. But I also try to make specific applications from the Scriptures to what our family deals with on a daily basis. I am not just teaching head knowledge; I want our kids to understand that the Bible is relevant to daily living, and I aim to draw their attention to this fact. For example, we just read Matthew 7:1-5, and there is the admonition to remove the log from our own eye prior to trying to remove the speck from our brother's eye. I asked our kid how this should affect the way they argue with their siblings when they get angry, and it generated a LOT of discussion! Letting your kids participate by asking or answering questions also provides a tangible opportunity to love your kids. People feel loved when they believe they are seen and heard, and interacting with their questions (even if you need to go study to find an answer) tells them they matter enough to you to sincerely engage their questions. Final Thoughts At the end of the day, the best method for doing family devotions is the one that you can consistently practice. Hearing, understanding, trusting, and applying the Word of God is how we grow in our faith, and the best soil for the Scriptures to take root and grow is a home full of people who seek the Lord together. A family is a great place to live out our faith by loving God and others, and fathers have the privilege and responsibility to foster the worship of the Lord in the home. Let men encourage one another as we seek to be the spiritual leaders God has called us to be!
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AuthorI am follower of Jesus Christ by God's grace, married to Kelsey, father to four children, and pastor of Lighthouse Church (EPC). Archives
November 2022
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